Dimension Hole of the Forbidden Forest
by PerdidoKitsune
Summary: Harry is sarcastic, a hidden slytherin, and a true marauder who after the war starts thinking on his walk in the forbidden forest when he falls and comes out, in the past?
1. Chapter 1

Harry Potter belongs to J.K Rowling and this disclaimer from now on will be put on the bottom so you can enjoy the chapters. This is rated for mature audiences. Yaoi warning and m/m sex read at your own risk

Harry James Potter AKA The-Boy-Who-Lived-To-Defeat-You-Know-Who-Twice (stupid name) was currently to be found walking around the Forbidden Forest. Normally the forest would be banned to all students but the young Master Potter, well, it could be said that the Forbidden Forest had a special value to him, especially with such strong emotional ties in place. Not many had their own death **and** resurrection in the forest. How many people do you know can say that really happened,truthfully to them?

So it was here that he came to finally think or more importantly to finally _avoid_ those that call themselves his _friends_. It's honestly disgusting the way that they're all acting. I should have just let the sorting hat put me in Slytherin like it wanted to, but **noooo** I just had to be completely stubborn and defy it. Honestly, you'd think I'd learn. Reality changed for everyone when true loyalties were revealed. Most surprisingly was in fact dark wizards enemy # 1 Ronald Weasley. He was, in actuality, a death eater from the end of third year. Stupid Pettigrew. Stupid Scabbers. Can you even believe him? After every nasty thing done and said about the Slytherins and their families, by Weasel himself, and all because they had death eaters in the family. Really, how hypocritical can someone be? I can not even begin to imagine what kind of trauma this did to his family, especially poor Molly. I'm almost positive that the twins would make him regret it if they could. If they were allowed little ronni-kins would feel the wrath of the Weasley twins in his lonely cell in Azkaban. There was a reason why they were considered the bane of existence to the Hogwarts staff since the Marauders.

Just as surprising as the Weasel being a death eater, the true shock came when I heard his so called girlfriend and most precious little sister's plan for after the final battle had been won. I guess the reason they were known as Hogwarts biggest sluts was _because of_ their so called plan.

Apparently, they decided long ago that they needed plenty of "practice" (coughwhoreingcough) in pleasing a man so that when they both became my wives in the first tri-bond ceremony in 5 decades they would know what's best for their savior husband. _Yeah Right!_ I'd probably willingly just go to Azkaban to see the almighty dark (hmph he's not even a tenth of a shadow) death eater's face when he finds out the truth about his favorite girls. The Weasel might just combust there and then instead of waiting for the dementor's kiss. That would be rather funny. I would definitely have to save that moment of truth. Ooooh, better yet the moment that GrangerBeaver and Weaslette discovers that not only am I 100% gay but I have been in love with Draco since the whole duel club fiasco. Yeah, It'll definitely be a moment to bottle up and watch over and over again. Oh, I'll tell them all at the same time, I mean why waste good vial space on them, no matter how hilarious the moment is, when having all three together would save space and make an even more impacting time of it. Aaahhh, pensives, such wonder devices,really, and no cameras needed either.

Speaking of the Malfoys or rather thinking of them and the chaos they will create even indirectly, brings me to recalling the shocking truth I discovered about them and the other Slytherins. Turns out that Severus Snape and Lucius Malfoy are in fact lovers. Lucius never truly was on the dark side. He did not even want to be a death eater. Not now and definitly not then but he was forced to by his wife and by his very own father. Abraxas Malfoy was a cruel man and forced the marriage to Narcissa Black through to ensure Lucius join the Dark Lord's side. Apparently Abraxas never even considered the thought that his so called lord would or could even be capable of being defeated. Stupidity is what I call it. One must never think any being is almighty or invincible. It will only come back and haunt you in the future wether near or far. Oh well! The funny thing is I absolutely am positive on who the first bonded trio will be in five decades and I'm still laughing about it(well on the inside at least). You could very well be killed laughing at these men, well at the very least two of them for sure,anyway.

Thanks to the confusion of the final battle everything slowed down to a stand still when I finally notice a surprising figure jumping back from behind death's veil which finally gave me chance and motive to finally end Voldemort, by his own sexiness he would say till blue in the face. I honestly believe it was due to VoldyMoldyWoldy's curiosity. Unfortunetly for him, his curiousity was way above that of a normal cat that it became one of his few true weaknesses. Hasn't he ever heard the saying about curiosity killing the cat? Seems my godfather coming from beyond the grave shocked even Lord snakey face himself who thought he could use the information on how he came back to somehow conquer death by eye raping Siri. I so thought not. So while Lord Noseless was eyeing my still very shockingly alive godfather, a truely dangerous swirl of magic became a tornado of pure raw magic encircling me at its very center. The hatred and anger I felt at the odausit2y that his Lord Pervertness, who was still currently looking at my second dad that way, was way worth soooo much beyond a simple AK death I was thinking of ending the war.

Damn it, he is _my_ guardian and I do not have to share him until I approve of who I am sharing him with. Oh HELL NO! Is that a glint of lust hidden in that wink? Since when does Riddles4brains even winks or became interested in sex? He is totally not flirting with my SIRI, NOOO WAY! HE WILL DIE!

Sirius will be loved and treasured above everything or anything just because I said so.(Yeah I have a major complex.) After everything that has happened to him he deserves it like no one else. He will be happy. My godfather. My Pack. He Will Be HAPPY! Somehow my magic seemed to condense and the Dark Lord of prime stupid followers was suddenly no more very painfully by the sound of the screams still ringing in my ears. Really. Honestly my anger completely ruined all of my fun. It was a totally anti-climatic ending. Nothing happened at all like my other encounters with the snake mutant. An insult to all mutants so I apologize to the x-men and all the others.(BTW I don't own the x-men either)Where was all the fun bragging(voldy) and disrespectful back-talking(me). This was oh so very boring. Stupid reptile.

Anyway, when Lord Voldy-No-Nosey died fate accidently(is any of it an accident with me and fate anymore) showed me who or rather whom were the perfect matches for my godfather. Though it came as a shock it honestly shouldn't have. Pulling pig-tails after all is quite common in boys. Especially in the oh so immature ones and can you really get more immature than Sirius. DunDunDun contradiction anyone.

Hmmm, anyway, since I couldn't have any fun with my now no more arch nemisis/super duper evil villian I'll just have to find some fun with this, my new pack mates. I mean they don't know that they became the two most respected men in my life or that I have already thought of them ,though odd as it may be, as pack. Hehehe, mischief needs to be made. Ha, I can't wait. So why not start at the present moment? Honestly am I totally insane? Can you even ask yourself that sanely? Oh well life's no fun with only the sane and ordinary. Just as I finished thinking that the very three though very confused, very horny, and very 96% naked men were suddenly in front of me. Wow, talk about embarrasing,for them and possibly me too, nah their hot so why not look. I'd probably be worried of some such similar revenge but hey they don't have the neccessary magic for accio-ing people.

I love being powerful and it didn't help that when Voldy Ak'd me earlier he did not remove the horocrux in me. He removed the taintness of dark magic that supressed my core so much that when I came back to being undead my power was tripled. With the final death of his majestic snakieness and the unremoved horocrux(the one in me was actually the pure portion of his soul, who knew) his power transferned to me. The mix reacted and my pure stubborness purified the magic and his magic just doubled my already high magic meter.

Oh, silly me I forgot about my fun. Silly silly Harry. I looked down again. I don't think they noticed they left the castle very much or honestly I don't think they care. Hmmm, no that won't due. My pack can't ignore their alpha cub. No, no, hehe I am so evil. MUHAWHAW!

"SIRIUS ORION BLACK!"

The poor portrait of Walburga Black was so shocked at the display that she forgot about everything she normally rants about(coughbloodtraitorscough). She doesn't even seem to be breathing though how portraits can even breath I'm not sure. Can she even die from lack of oxygen? I probably should research that. Who knows that could come in handy, though better not risk it with Lady Black she can and will be used in future mischief. So I oblivated her , a total act of mercy on my part, and sent her back to her wall. Right, now what? Oh now that I have their attention, excuse me...is it right to excuse yourself from your own thoughts...hm...I'll have to research that too. Now back to my fun.

Seems like finally the dunderheads took notice of me. I look at all three with a very scary strict face that could of done McGonagall and Molly Weasley proud. I stared at each pair of their eyes. I can pretty much feel the heat of way above normal levels of embarrasment and hear it as well, what with figiting. My diabolical laughter is at such a supreme level I cannot even imagine how it is not blowing up deep inside my head. I take pity on them and decide to dress them in descent robes. Now comfortably clothed they stand together wondering what to do from here. Funny that they can't seem to look at me, considering who they are.

Oh well, unsurprisingly I think Snape is about to go on the defensive first which in Snape world is to put the rightfully deserved blame,in this case (not that he knows I did it purposely)on one Mr. Harry james Potter aka me. I do not even give him the chance to go on another Harry Potter is a menace rant. Just before that happens I put my very own masterpiece, the hurt kitten face with tears, big eyes, and the perfect poutin place. Let the fun start.

" S-Sir-Siri h-how could y-y-you? I-I b-br-brought all you three here because I wanted the three most awsomest men I know to see if you would be my new d-d-daddies but y-y-you don't w-w-want meeeeeeee! So you were just gonna make a new baby. WAAAAAAAAAAAh! Don' t you love me anymore Siri?"

Ha ha ha perfectly priceless and cruel, but that's where the fun is. They each take turns telling me of course they would be honored and happy to be my new dadies and that they loved me and no they did not want a new baby now or anytime soon. After a while I pretended to be perfectly content and happy once more keeping the smirk threatening to reveal itself down and sent them back to their rooms happily telling them that I was glad they love me enough to be my new pack even if they didn't really have a choice on the matter. I told them that though they did make me feel better but the hard on they each still sported was way too uncomfortable for me to talk to them any longer so I sent them to Snape's quarters with complete full body flushes. Ah, a new life finally awaits. VoldySnakey Lord is dead. Manupilative Dumbledork is also dead. I'm powerful and hold the three deathly hallows of legend. What more can make my life better. Oh I know! It was suppose to be a rhetorical question but oh well I already doubt the sanity of my mentality. Though it's not just one but two things that can make my life a lot more awsome. First, I would love to go somewhere where people can be descrete and not mob me in groups or better yet where they don't always recognize me instantly so I finally be able to breath while living my life free of threat and/or dangerous murderer threats, ex-death eaters non withstanding. And I want to go out with Draco. Oohh the fun we would get into. The mischief, the pranks, the pleasure ooohhh. MMMM! Lost in the fantasy what my dragon and I can do together I didn't see the hole till I felt my stomach drop.

A/N: Reviews are welcomed. You can be brutally honest however it has to have a point. Flames are just complaints with out input on how to make it better.

I'm still in the beginning but this will be a Harry in the Maurders time as I think they are too little of them while still holding onto the drarry pairing.

With that in mind if you have anything you want to see in the story while keeping the above and Harry personality intact I will try my best to add it in.


	2. Enter the three

Disclaimer : Don't own anything of J.k. Rowlings awsome Harry Potter Series/Characters or it would be filled with insanity for more fun.

CRASSH! "Ow, bloody hell Snape definitely knew what he was talking about when he said only dunderheads can't think and walk without falling or crashing into something. Oh well, I did both so does that make him wrong or right, hmm oh what do I care he probably would be right if he was talking about a _normal_ dunderhead, he really likes that stupid word, but he's wrong when it comes to me. I'm anything but normal so I win. Win what? And why am I talking to myself when I can't see where I even am? Though it would help if I opened my eyes.

Please. Please. Please. Please, NO more fan girls and/or boys ever again. Merlin Almighty Please No More! I'm still way too scarred after what happened when I fell through one of the many empty very random classrooms to find both group types of fans surrounding me." SHIVER. SHUDDER. " Hmmm, I'm still talking to myself, aren't I? Do I really want to open my eyes to see where I am or am I content to just lay here where my back will no doubt be in pain come morning? Bloody hell, where is that blasted old coot with a lemon drop when I need him. By merlin when it is actually needed he is not here with the damnable twinkle and bag of the sweets or is it sours? Hmmm, random research topic once more. So weird and I still have not opened my eyes yet. C'mon your not the boy of too many hypens for just nothing... here goes...I'm gonnna do it...Now!"

"JUST DO IT!" The bark came out of nowhere.

" Shut up PADFOOT or I'm telling Lucy and Sev who you crushed on when you were in the sixth year and what happened after." Yeah Siri might have been a Gryff but that just makes blackmail material easier to obtain. You'd think he'd know better what with him being the Black heir and all.

Finally getting up and scowling at his dogfather he realizes just where he is. Or rather he questions just how he got to not this place but this time. Can I use this weird accident for future pranks and/or blackmail material. Looking around he notices the staff table is full and a certain twinkle is searching through his robes for something. The staff or more less the same aside the potions/defense/COMC teachers.

Let's see Slughorn is seems to be teaching potions and is still Slytherin Head of House. Definitely hope to stay under the radar with him. No need to be initiated into the SlugClub again. Yeah his obsession with Riddle was way to suspicious if you ask me. Defense class seems to be a rather elegant looking witch or rather vampire by the dark energy mixed in with her magic. Hmm does Riddle's even affect vampires or is it even worse for them. Ah and it seems Professor Grubbyplank still has Care of Magical Creatures though it seems the good Professor still owns both arms. Wonder when she looses the other one.

Anyway, tuning into the silence once more or rather the silence of the great hall in its entirity, the spluttering Padfoot, the cold glares of the aforementioned Slytherin and Slytherin Prince. "Is it weird if I think Lucius glare is cute while Snapes looks very adorable with his glare in a Chibi way?" Now you can just hear the imaginary crickets in the background until BAAAM. WHOOSH. THUD. WHOOSH. THUD.

"Aaaawwwwww, how come I was the only one to crash into the floor like the pup does with floo travel even though I'm a pureblood with the same training as you?" Ah, that is the voice of a much older and mature (at least physically) Sirius Black.

"Up mutt before the floor decides to claim you plus we are here to bring back the dunderhead before my godson finally breaks through the enchantments on this particular potion." Ahhh, now that older Snape is here young Snape looks even more Chibi and adorable while his glare seems more of a pout in comparison.

"Severus. Sirius." The cultured tones of Lucius bring the other two to attention and as with Snape young Lucius can't hold a candle to his counterparts itimadiation techniques. Funny how the seemingly aggorant Lucius Malfoy is the one who is able to keep those to in a functioning relationship without the use of murder to each other or him to them.

With the tension of those to out of the way for the time being they finally notice that not only are they in the past but that I am still unable to breathe do to the heavy dog animagus who landed right on top of me and not the floor, now who is a dunderhead Snape, but the fact that Snape, Malfoy, and Sirius were staring at them or rather their older counterparts. Siri finally decided to get up and with the rush of air I was up.

As older began staring at their younger parts right back I was getting my breath back to normal. Once regulated I called their names, thrice. However with they continued to ignore their alpha cub a tick mark had appear. Hehehe, let the fun begin. Casting a disillusion charm on myself that only the teachers saw through, no need to make them feel I am a threat, I turned Lucius wizarding robes into a very sexy pimp suit to match the his frickin pimp cane he always has. Pureblood tradition my arse. Snape robes were tightened and fitted to actually show his lithe body and I broke the charm from his hair to allow the beautiful locks to display themselves while breaking the glamour on his skin and teeth. I can already see the fan clubs forming right here and the hearts forming in all the girls and some boys as well. Hehe payback is a bitch I know he put that trap to **the classroom**. Shudder. Sirius I left alone cuz he was doing his own damage by just standing there and drooling on his m-wait a minute are those rings. They got bonded without me.

"HOW COULD YOU? YOU REALLY DIDN'T WANT ME TO GET BONDED WITHOUT ME." That broke them from themselves. Still weird.

When they turned around they saw instead of a sad child what they saw made them want to run and hide beside the fact that they knew they did not bond yet. They only got themselves promise rings seeing as many had continued to hit on them and they only had to show the rings to the more determined ones. However, to scared to do more then stare once again ignoring their alpha cub. Now seeing the dark aura surrounding the boy with too many hyphen the three of them decided to use their Slytherin self perservation skills. Yes, Sirius included they so did not want to be punished by their alpha cub.

A/N: I am posting this now as it has been a long time since I updated. My sister hogs the computer with her summer online classes. I am still figuring on what happens next as I have to be typing to listen to what the story wants. Any ideas let me know. Reviews always helps.


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